Let him Fly
by MoonlightGardenias
Summary: Addisoncentric oneshot based on the song, Let Him Fly.Not a read for Addek fans, simply a proAddy fic.


**Author's Note:I had this idea in my head, of Addison after prom. The truth is that while I am a MerDer fan, I adore Addison (don't ask me how that's possible, I just do.And I'm a MAddison fan, thank you)-**

**Anyway, the song, "Let Him Fly" is from the Dixie Chicks (prior to the whole Bush-bashing thing)-And the song I think applies to the Addison/Derek perspective. I won't post all the lyrics here, but basically, it's a short one-shot-a look into Addison's thoughts.I will say though, that it's not an Addek fic.-It's simply Addison-centric fic. Read and Review.**

**Disclaimer:I don't own the characters used-they belong the the brilliant mind of Shonda Rhimes (that, and the folks at ABC.)**

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_"Ain't no talkin' to this man_

_Ain't no pretty other side._

_Ain't no way to understand-_ _stupid words of pride"_

I've thought about it. I really have. But as I sit on our bed, I don't see how it could end any other way. I should have known-I really should have. The second I saw them together, I should have known I didn't have a chance. But I wanted to fight-I wanted to believe. We had a chance for a while-I even caught a glimpse of the Derek I used to know.

But Now?Now, everything's different. Derek came home last night and I could just tell something was different. He was quiet-more than usual. I didn't want to ask, even though I had a feeling. I felt something different with him, even in the way he looked at me. Why did it have to be this hard?

_You know the light has left his face  
But you cant recall just where or why  
So there was really nothing to it  
I just went and cut right through it_

So now here I am-bags packed. I should be mad, shouldn't I?Some say I'm crazy, as I know there'll be rumors come tomorrow. But the truth is that I can't take it anymore. I'm tired. I take a look in the mirror, staring at the woman I see there. Who is she? Who is this person that claims to be me? I barely recognize my own reflection, it's kind of sad.

Stepping outside, I am soon blanketed in a mist of rain. Derek'll be home soon, but I simply left a note for him on the table. I wonder how long it'll take before he notices. Will he miss me?

_Theres no mercy in a live wire  
No rest at all in freedom  
Choices we are given-  
Its no choice at all  
The proof is in the fire  
You touch before it moves away _

My car isn't as packed as I had thought it would be. I picked a hotel on the other side of town-it's small and it'll mean more driving, but atleast it means that Derek won't try and find me. There's a pale circle around my finger-one that I know it'll take some getting used to.

I'll have to talk to Chief come morning. I haven't made an actual decision yet as to if I'll stay. I like Seattle now that I'm here. But it reminds me of him. It reminds me of _her_. Biting my tongue, I feel the blood filter into my mouth. I don't hate Meredith, I really don't. In reality, I feel sorry for her. Because yes, on the outside, Derek's a great guy. He can say all of the right things that you've always dreamed a guy would say. But inside he's like...he's like a hurricane.

Okay, maybe not a perfect explanation but it's the truth. I stop at the stoplight, watching the red flecks of light pelt my windshield. I still have a few miles to go, and for a minute I even consider turning around.

_But you must always know  
How long to stay and when to go_

I know it wouldn't do any good. Derek and I would go on pretending which in the end would ultimately lead to us both being unhappy. And Derek deserves to be happy-even if he is with Meredith.

I actually asked her-how stupid could I have been to think she would have told me the truth? Derek never had a patient to check on, he was with Meredith the entire time. And there I was in the midst of all our colleagues being blissfully unaware. But with the next day I knew that we couldn't make it. I knew that we couldn't survive this. He didn't even tell me.

Maybe it was the fact that I was tired, or the fact that we both realized it had gone on long enough. I found a pair of underwear that belonged to Meredith in his jacket pocket-presumably the ones that had been on the bulletin board-he actually had the decency to take them down?

Wiping at the tears, I know that I'm doing what's best. I turn left, watching the road ahead of me. It's still raining, but somewhat softer now. Suddenly I start paying a closer attention to addresses on buildings until I find the correct one. A simple hotel, a national chain at that-but it's enough for me.

Sighing, I take the key out of my ignition, staring at the building ahead of me.

_And there aint no talkin to this man  
He's been trying to tell me so  
It took a while to understand  
The beauty of just letting go_

Brushing my hair back into a ponytail, I hope I look presentable. Grabbing my bag out of the car and head to the office. "I need a room."I say to the older woman who obviously isn't that interested. She puts down her issue of the _National Enquirer_ and walks to a computer typing in a few things.

"Name?"She asks.

I space out for a moment, having not decided. For over a decade, I've been known as 'Shepherd'-so much I wonder if I can even write my maiden name anymore. I laugh, knowing that I can, but knowing it'll take some getting used to.

"Hello?"The lady asks again, chewing on a piece of overly minty gum.

"Montgomery...Addison Montgomery."

_Cause it would take an acrobat 'n  
I already tried all that..._

_So I'm gonna let him fly_

I find my room-room number 34, and sit exhaustedly on the bed. I stare at my phone, knowing that it needs to be charged. But what I'm looking at now is the fact it says "One new message"-I know it's from Derek. Smiling sadly, I know it's the right thing to do. I should be mad. Upset, throwing things even. But I'm not. I'm letting go. Sticking the phone on the charger, I hit 'delete'.

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**Thanks for reading!...I'm not sure if it's okay the way it turned out, But I really love the song, and can see something like this happening. Anyway, Review, please!**


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